And I don’t always get it right. Even when I’m attempting to do the right thing, I’m prone to fail. To err is human and I’m thankful for grace and forgiveness.

It wasn’t with kids that Paul struggled but I think he had a similar mindset:

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.

Romans 7:15-20

It’s been a couple of years since I’ve dropped any Christmas music on you. Prior to Rdio (RIP) and other music services, it was a little more of a chore to source and share decent tunes. It takes work to put these together but I do enjoy it for a few reasons:

• I like decent Christmas music
• What they play on the radio is good to get you into the Christmas spirit but after a few days it becomes quite repetitive
• It’s fun to share with others

Due to work and life, I haven’t had a great deal of time to go actively searching for new stuff this year. But, ironically, due to the fact that we’ve been working crazy-late hours the last couple of weeks, I have been able to listen to hours of random playlists and been able to toss a few tracks I’ve liked to my own Spotify (RIP Rdio + please hurry up Pandora Premium) playlist.

Some of you who have followed along for years might know that there’s a few tracks I think are imperative to a quality, heavy-rotation Christmas playlist. Some of them aren’t available on music services and only exist on the hard drives of folks like you and I; it’s up to us to carry the torch for the next generations. Heavy burden, I know. Those tracks aren’t on the Spotify version of Creepy Santa below; if you want the extra good stuff, you’ll have to download the ZIP folder and play it the old fashioned way (iTunes).

If you’re new here, you might check the archives for past freebies.

If nothing else, the download might be worth it for the smiles track 20 can induce; it’s a modern day take on the creepiness that is Baby, It’s Cold Outside.

Without further ado,

Creepy Santa 2016

1. Present Without a Bow - Kacey Musgraves, Leon Bridges
2. All my Christmases - Jillian Edwards
3. Glow - Brett Eldredge
4. O Cristmas Tree - Martin Sexton
5. Jingle Bells Cha Cha - Pearl Bailey
6. Mr Right - Leona Lewis
7. Merry Christmas Baby - Hanson (yep, that Hanson)
8. Just Like a Shooting Star - Dani and Lizzy
9. I'll Be Home - Meghan Trainor
10. Sleigh Ride - Tamar Braxton
11. Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas - Zach Gill, Jack Johnson
12. Merry Christmas Mama - Emily Rowed
13. Just Another Christmas Song - Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings
14. Christmas is Leading me Home - Haylel Sales
15. Ribbons and Bows - Kacey Musgraves
16. Someday at Christmas - Jack Johnson
17. White Christmas - Zach Gill
18. It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - Brett Eldredge
19. Hallelujah - Pentatonix
20. Baby, It's Cold Outside (with consent) - Lydia Liza
21. Bing Crosby - Happy Holiday (Beef Wellington Remix)
22. O Holy Night - Troy Andrews

Download: Creepy Santa 2016

Listen on Spotify:

But it’s necessary.

In my Monday morning ‘down a rabbit hole,’ I was looking into a local restaurant for dinner with some friends for this evening. I hit their menu to see if there’s anything that I’d be interested in (there is) and then I got distracted by the rest of their website (as I often do). I ended up on the Blog page wondering just what a local Mexican restaurant might be blogging about these days. Riveting stuff for most of you, I’m sure.

While I applaud the efforts of any business to actually take heed of the recommendations we often give in the web world of, “provide your customers fresh and relevant content on your website,” it was easy to see that this blog has just been farmed out to a content factory to generically produce Mexican restaurant/food related content. I’m not dogging the practice or the effort but it doesn’t take an expert to see this content for what it is — in this case, blog posts written more for the SEO (search engine optimization) purpose of getting Google to send them traffic rather than focusing on content written for humans first.

The reason for me to come to my own blog and point all of this out? Just to note that if they’re going to continue utilizing a content creation company (which I fully applaud the utilization of a good one for a lot of businesses), I’d at least encourage them to proofread or a least loosely scan the content before (or just after) it gets posted on their website.

Case in point:

In their second most recent blog post titled, “How to Tell if You’re Eating at An Authentic Mexican Restaurant in Grapevine Texas,” I find it interesting that they conclude their entire blog post with the following lines, “If you are ready to experience some real authentic Mexican food Grapevine TX, contact us to make a reservation today. It will be our pleasure to serve you our most delicious dishes.”

I only call attention to the fact that they’re pretty clear in the few paragraphs prior, outlining what restaurants a diner should avoid due to the establishment’s inability to be “authentic.” The two that jumped out at me quickly were their points that Mexican restaurants selling ‘queso’ and ‘frozen margaritas’ were obviously inauthentic — and while I’m not here to dispute the authenticity of these statements — I would like to call the attention to their Dinner Menu page where they clearly are not afraid to sell me both queso (multiple types) and frozen margaritas.

But hey, something’s better than nothing, right?

If you need me this evening, you can find me dinning at the possibly-authentic Mesa Grapevine while sampling some of their finest queso and frozen margaritas.

P.S. Mesa, happy to give you a recommendation or two for content creation (or at least proofing help) companies if you’d like!

Posted mostly because this is probably a better place dump my thoughts than Twitter. Without context:

I do not see how the concept of “Inclusion via Exclusion” is supportive of an ideology that believes all should get an equal voice. If you seek tolerance for all, be tolerant of all.

This is an open letter — a response in one of the few ways I know how. It’s mostly just going to be a stream of consciousness that could ultimately turn into a longer conversation.

— —

Dear 1950’s style church member, thank you.

I used to be you. My “theology” matched your theology. Our “doctrines” aligned. The “church,” as I believed it, was the most important thing. When the doors were open, we knew we were supposed to be in the “church.”

I wasn’t there this week but the funny thing is, as much as ever, I believe we’re supposed to be in the church. I want to teach my boys this. I want to set this example for others. I want the world to know the Jesus that I know.

I think (mostly because I don’t know your internal motives), in that regard, we’re one and the same.

Except for the fact that we’re miles apart. In sports terms, we’re so far apart, we’re not even playing the same game.

—

What’s changed? The church? Nope.

What has changed for me is the simple fact that I missed the boat for so long. For entirely too long, I viewed those four walls, those padded pews, those hard-bound song books, that air conditioning, those vaulted ceilings, and the 9:00am once-per-week 45-minute dive into scripture as the Church. Here’s some examples of my previous ways of thinking:

• “Hurry and finish your breakfast, we’ve got to get to church.”
• “Nah, sorry, we can’t do that on Wednesday night; we’ve got church.”
• “What time does church start?”
• “Can you run up to the church and grab X?”
• “Hey friend, (I know it’s a little awkward but) are you interested in going to church with me?”

Sound familiar, I promise I can go on.

You know what changed? Me. When I realized a little while back that our “theology” — as you might be inclined to passively throw in my face on Facebook — doesn’t line up nearly as much as it used to.

What amazes me is that you truly think that your take on doctrine is the only Truth there is. The simple fact you emphasize your one building; in your one-horse town; of your one denomination (even when you say you’re not a denomination) as the “Church” is completely opposite of what the Bible you stand on teaches.

— —

My seat was empty on Sunday

My kids play sports and I get that back in your day things looked a little different. You had Blue Laws, I’ve heard all about them. And you just knew that if Christ returned on a Sunday or Wednesday night and you weren’t in your assigned seat at church, you lost your place in line. I totally understand your thinking, that crap is hard to shake.

And look, I’m probably the last guy you want offering up Jesus returns prophesies to you but I’m fairly certain you can count on a couple of things:

1. Jesus doesn’t care about what your building looks like.

and

2. If he showed up on a Sunday and upon his return He just luckily sauntered into your place of worship, He’d be disheartened at what He saw. I don’t think He’d be turning-tables mad but I do think He’d be sad that you shot-your-shot at creating His perfect church and you missed so badly.

You wanna know why I know this?

Cause Jesus didn’t ever once call a building the “Church.” And in his years of ministry, never once did He set aside two days a week to go to “church.” And never did He say, ‘those who enter this building with the wood-paneling and temperature-controlled baptistry will be called my Church.’

Nope. He pretty much said the opposite. For his entire ministry. Until the day he died and he called out in agonizing pain: “Father, forgive them, because they still have no idea what they’re doing.” (paraphrasing, mine)

— —

You’re probably gonna read this and think, “we don’t read the same book.” You’re wrong.

I think if you’ll take a look back through that Book you read with honest and fresh eyes, you might see something a little different. I did.

What you probably won’t see is that point where Jesus laid out the scriptural times of worship of 10:00am, 6:00pm, and Wednesday night at 7:00pm. Adjusted accordingly for time change, of course.

As I point out above, He never actually calls a building the church. Nor does He call it, “going to church”; “going to the church”; “worshiping at the church”; “running by the church”; or any other mis-verbification you can come up with.

What does He say then? Well, He does tell Peter (in Matthew’s account) that on him, He will build His church. So we’ve got that. But I’m fairly certain that statement alone doesn’t mean Jesus hired Peter as a general contractor to go out and get a bunch of sub-contractors and an architect to build a physical building with a steeple and a pulpit. (But again, I don’t have a Masters in Theology.)

Wanna know what Jesus talked about more than a church? Like 100 times more? A Kingdom. And not one far away. Not one down the road in the future. And definitely not one that was made for the humans of this world to rule over each other with.

“The kingdom of God is near” is kind of a weird thing to hear, right? I’m like, “hey Jesus, what’chu mean by that?”

Since you asked, here’s my measly, human interpretation…

“I’m Jesus. I’m here. I’m building something far better than you can ever imagine. It ain’t a building. It doesn’t need a time slot. It doesn’t leave people out. It doesn’t require a great (or terrible) speaker each week. All I ask is that you love me and take care of my people. I’m the kingdom and I’m right here. Near you. Bueno?”

also (and equally as important)…

“Don’t forget something… the people. The ones who are lost. The ones who have walked away. The ones who have never heard. The ones who are broken. The ones who are misguided. The ones who want nothing to do with me or with you. The ones who say the most filthy, vile, and vulgar things about me (and you). They’re really freaking important to me.

And you know what? Now maybe you should write this one down… I’m kind of partial to this one… love them. Go after them. Please go after them. With all of your heart, soul, mind, and might. They’re not always going to be in the places you are. In fact, they’re rarely going to be in the place you feel the safest. Please, please, please, go after them and love them. Just as they are. You do that and I’ll work my magic as well, together we can bring them home. To the church. Not the building. To my church; my kingdom; my place of rest.

— —

I was at a baseball game on Sunday (six, actually)

Look, my kids play sports. On Sunday. And I know that annoys the hell out of you. And we post pictures about it. And we celebrate it.

You know what else we celebrate? The fact that we are with the church. My boys know it. They know they’re called to such a higher standard than the world sets. They know Christ comes first. They know the Love of the Lord. They know the songs. They know we long for times to sit in and worship with like-minded believers to be refreshed and encourage each other.

They also know they’re called to so much more.

Those 10 other kids on the team? The 10-15 families associated with those kids? Holy moly, who better to teach them about Jesus, His love for them, and their place in the Kingdom than us? Than my wife? Than my boys? That’s a church. That’s a mission.

You know what we have no ambitions of? That .0296% chance of becoming a professional athlete that you post about on social media. We don’t talk about it. We don’t encourage it. We also don’t shoot it down when our kids say, “dad, I wanna be a baseball player when I grow up!” You want to know why? Cause I wanted to play baseball when I grew up too and you know who didn’t shoot that down? Every adult ever. Let the kids dream and play. (It’s scientifically-proven good for their brains.)

— —

I get that you don’t get it. I get that this will stir so many of the wrong and unintended emotions in you but you’ve gotta understand that the “Church” as you know it is on the decline and part of that — from my simple estimation — is simply due to the fact that you’ve thumbed your nose at both believers and non-believers alike who do not exactly align with your doctrine. Different doesn’t equal wrong.

Love God and love your neighbor. I can’t do the second without the first and if I don’t do the second, I’ve failed this test miserably.

—

On any given Sunday I might be at a baseball field, but hopefully someday you’ll come to the realization that my family and I are as much or more a part of His church than you’ve ever taken the leap of faith to be.

So, Thank you. Thank you for outing yourself once again. Thank you for setting the stage for me to finally put something down on paper (this has been a few years coming). Thank you for giving me material to once again reinforce the teachings of Jesus with my kids. Thank you for reminding me that Jesus is really important. His teachings should be heard, especially by the lost — those who need it most.

What I hope my boys never inherit is a short-sided view of what Christians — followers of Christ — are supposed to be. Your “church” will likely continue down a slow path of attrition and death but Christ’s Church will endure forever. I hope they choose the latter.

c

Hey Internet, let’s play a game. No, not toilet golf, that would be ridiculous.

I received this gag as a gift for Christmas. I tried to give it to my avid-golfing-business-partner but he wants nothing to do with it and though we’ve tried, neither one of us has come up with a compelling reason as to why this game (or its’ related friend: Toilet Fishing) would have ever been green-lighted as products.

Long story short, I want to give you this game. I’ll even pay the shipping (US and maybe Canada addresses depending on how much I’ve gotta be out of pocket).

The catch: to be the lucky recipient of this fine Chinese craftsmanship, you gotta enlighten me on how this thing actually ever went from conference room spitball-session to production. Have fun with it. Help me solve the mystery of, “who in their right capitalist mind thought the world needed this?”

Bring it. Deadline for your entries are Wednesday, January 15th.

This past Saturday, the boys and I did a little re-arranging of their playroom. Adding a second bookshelf and a larger TV. While it took a little longer than if I had tackled on my own, I encouraged and appreciated their help with the project. Hopefully it gives them a little more ownership of it. Ended up taking about 3.5 hours, here it is (in its’ non-level glory) in :25 seconds.

Posting here for posterity; reminders for us all that there are good things in this world to celebrate. Target (and their Cat & Jack brand) did a bang-up job on this ad campaign.

The picture tells most of the story but you can read mom’s words here if you want: https://d.pr/s3T0nh

Luke 15:3-7
3 Then Jesus told them this parable: 4 “Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? 5 And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders 6 and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, ‘Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.’ 7 I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent.

I have zero claim to the answers. Mostly just questions. People are hurting and I hurt for others. I am very aware that I have privilege based on something completely outside of my control.

There were (and probably are) times when I have failed to recognize my fortunes. And times when I’ve been proud to announce that everybody’s got a shot. And while it’s true that in the country I live in — everybody does have a shot — those shots are not equal by any stretch of the imagination. In basketball terms, I’m shooting from the low block while others may be dealing with three-quarter court heaves. I got layups.

I’m not sure where you sit on the fence. Depending on what media you choose to follow or what social platforms or influencers cross your feed, you are reading/seeing this with a lens on. And frankly, it’s almost a sure bet that somebody else is viewing this exact same thing with an opposite lens. I think we should try and come to an understanding that in almost all cases, neither of you is wrong.

Yes, there are the extreme viewpoints of those that think violence, destruction, or hurting others is the answer, it’s not. If that is your viewpoint, you are wrong.

—

Seven days ago, a man murdered another man. It was unwarranted and uncalled for. The human life that gets to continue on in this situation now has to live with this fact for as long as he exists on this earth. He will never forget this moment. I have no way of knowing but I am open to the idea that he is completely remorseful and that he may never have the ability to even forgive himself.

On the other side, tragedy was struck in the hearts of many. Another life was needlessly taken. A son, a father, a brother, a community member, a human being. His family too will never forget. They only have the memories now. The good times and bad. The smiles and the tears. The laughs and the mistakes. They didn’t get the opportunity to say goodbye, and frankly, I’m sure they feel like they’ll never have closure in this experience.

I don’t have the answers. Mostly just questions.

What I want is to have conversations.

—

I see color.

I see people of different color. At 42, I haven’t figured out how not to. I believe in both my head and my heart that even though we are different in color, we are equal in the eyes of our Creator. We have to be. Otherwise, I’m professing to serve a creator that is only a construct of what makes sense to me at any given moment in my life.

I see color. I haven’t figured out how not to. I work very hard though to make it not about color. I fail, as I tend to believe all do. My boys have heard me say throughout their lives that color doesn’t matter. Hopefully they have heard me push back when others may inch towards a line says that it does. It doesn’t. I pray that they are even better than me in their lives; with their words right now they tell me color doesn’t matter and in their actions I’ve thankfully seen it as well.

I see color. I haven’t figured out how not to. I’m torn. On one side, I want to be the voice that says, “your color doesn’t matter, it doesn’t define you.” On the other side, I’m wondering if the voice that says, “you are colorful, you are loved, you are accepted, let it define you,” is the one that needs amplification?

I don’t have the answers. Mostly just questions.

—

I see the heaviness.

I see the lawlessness of situations. The anarchy. I also see the peace and have respect for those that gather together for a cause in a respectful manner. I believe that one of the opportunities that I have living in a free society, is one to a peaceful demonstration. Whether or not I agree with what you stand for, I will fight to afford you the opportunity to stand for it.

I see police officers who are good. And I’m keenly aware that there are police officers that are bad. In this moment, I want to do my best to start referring to them as peace officers. Officers who promote peace, who long for peace, who choose peace in times of conflict. Peace officers who are bad, no longer deserve to be peace officers. I don’t believe that they deserve extra protection for when they break the law.

Even in the strife, I know that there is good going on. It doesn’t always get amplified.

More and more, I am starting to understand that if you’re watching the news, you’re being told a narrative. And while you may sit there and agree with me — it doesn’t matter what side you’re on, what channel you’re watching, what website you frequent, or what social media stream keeps your attention — you’re being told a story. It is one that you agree with or otherwise you’d likely turn it off.

I don’t have the answers. Mostly just questions.

If I had the answers, I’d tell you to watch channel X or visit website Y. The problem is, they all have an agenda. Some agendas skew towards what you might see as positive outcomes and some skew the other way.

Agendas. I have an agenda. You have an agenda. A police-brutality protestor has an agenda. The president has an agenda. The “machine” has an agenda. Your church has an agenda. The parks and recreation department in your town has an agenda. Media has an agenda.

They aren’t the same. They aren’t all written down. Many of them aren’t verbalized or even in someone’s conscious state of mind. We all have a way of seeing things and a desire to watch them end up in a form that aligns with that.

My agenda today is trying to find common ground. To gain understanding. To ask questions and listen for the answers. Not to listen with intent to formulate a response.

If there was a peaceful protest in my town today, I would go, sit, and listen. I would ask questions. I would offer hugs. I want to believe that I’m not the shouting type or the type that uses force to get my way and that would shine through even in the tense moments.

I want to learn, listen, and find common ground. I want to be at the center. Extremism is a cancer. I have not found in my life that extremism has solved much of anything. I could be wrong. I don’t have the answers.

—

#BlackoutTuesday

If you decide today to put up a solid black image to show your support for the Black Lives Matter movement, I support you. If you choose not to, I support you. I don’t look down on you either way.

What I long for is open conversation with people who have strong emotional feelings about their situation. What I would ask for is that we can hopefully root our conversations in facts. Everyone has a right to have their feelings and words heard. It is my belief that everyone should also desire to have the most factual information as they continue to formulate their views, their plans, their agenda.

I don’t have all the answers. I don’t have all the facts. I recognize that I don’t and I will work to gain facts and historical context before speaking out of turn. When I am wrong in my facts, I expect to be corrected. When my opinion doesn’t align with the facts that I am aware of, I will hopefully have the humbleness and attitude of one who is willing to adjust.

I pledge to read. I pledge to ask questions. I pledge to try and amplify marginalized voices who have real things to say. Hopefully when I do so, I can amplify the voices of those who have agendas that push our society forward to one of love and coming together. Not one that is divisive and extreme.

—

Depending on your lens, the Black Lives Matter movement will strike a chord with you in some way or another. You might be on the side of, “all in.” You also might be on the side of, “I believe all lives matter, not just black ones.”

I believe that black lives matter. I believe that all lives matter. I am working to understand how one statement so often causes strife for the other.

The best analogy I have so far is one where I choose to find my roots in. It comes from the book of Luke in the New Testament.

It’s a parable — a story with a higher meaning — about a shepherd who tends a flock of one hundred sheep. He cares for them. He loves them. He regards their safety.

One day, one of his flock goes missing. He longs for it. He’s likely scared. He’s willing to take a chance that he loses more over this one single sheep. There is unrest in his soul.

He goes after it.

The shepherd wasn’t content that most of his sheep were there. If you had $100 in single dollar bills, would you set 99 of them on the sidewalk to chase the 1 that just blew away? I doubt it.

You and I aren’t the shepherd in the story. But I’m supposed to be. I’m called to be the image bearer of the God that created me. You are too.

I’m called to long for that one. That marginalized. That missing one. That one in danger. That hidden one. That one who got chased when he didn’t deserve it. The one who needlessley lost his physical life. That one who instinctively drives me to cross to the other side of the road or makes the hair on my neck stand. That one who kneels on a football field. That one who waives a rainbow in my face. The one who posts incredibly insensitive memes on Facebook, not understanding the ramifications they may have. The one who holds up a fist. The one who shouts them down. The one who puts his knee on the neck, yep, even that one.

— — —

When the shepherd returns with the missing (and safe) sheep, he rejoices. He calls others into rejoicing. He throws a party.

I am not given instruction or example to be one that ignores the sheep. I am also not called drive out evil by physical force or the threat of it. I am called to long for, to search for, to love enough to chase down missing sheep.

 
One last analogy… If I invited you to my house because you were hungry and allowed you to sit at my table but did not feed you while I ate, are you not still hungry? You will tell me, “I am hungry!” but if I say back to you, “we are all hungry!” and offer you nothing to eat; I have not done anything to understand or help your situation. We are all hungry. And I believe we all have an opportunity to chase those others who are hungry and offer them food to eat.

I don’t have the answers. Mostly just questions.

This year marks a decent milestone for my wife and I, we have now been married for two entire decades. Thankfully, it’s as enjoyable as ever though I know that she puts up with me far more than she should have to. To reward ourselves (as if being married 20-years to me isn’t rewarding enough) for our successful run so far, we decided that we wanted to take a trip across the great Atlantic and see some areas that we’ve only ever seen in pictures or through the eyes of Rick Steves.

Early this year, I started the process of mapping out an itinerary of some things we wanted to see and the lovely Mrs started looking at flights and accommodations. (If you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re an unstoppable team. Like Sherlock & Holmes. Like garlic & bread. Like Roger Federer and his tennis racket.) We were making some sweet headway and getting kind of excited and then 2020 failed. Epic failure. Windows blue-screen-of-death failure.

No surprises here, we didn’t want Covid so we didn’t go anywhere. Except to dinner, we did go to a nice, socially-distanced dinner.

Of course I wanted to go to Italy. It would have been nicer than dinner. But I think my lady-friend was even more bummed about it canceling than I was so I went ahead and took her on a trip. We saw the Amalfi Coast, Rome, Florence, Venice, and even a stop in Paris for good measure. Every 30 minutes on the day of her anniversary celebration, she was rewarded with a fond memory of our trip. I had a few minutes tonight so I thought I’d share our trip with you as well.

Happy travels!

1. 6:00AM – Airplane’s are fun

Ciao Bella! Happy Coronavirus-versary!

20 years strong and we’re just getting warmed up.

The (Co)Vid gave its best punches this year but I decided it wasn’t going to cancel our European vacation… thankfully I took some photos of our trip for us to remember it all by.

Here we are on the plane, I’m quite surprised that the pilots actually let us in the cockpit; I thought they did away with all of that after 9/11 but apparently all’s legal in Italy!

It was a bumpy flight but we made it safely. I do feel bad for that lady in 32D who had a couple too many drinky-drinks, I feel like she might regret that whole marriage proposal to the old man in 14E once she sobers up.

Buon Viaggio!

2. 6:30AM – Rome wasn’t built in a day… but we had to see it in one.

Ciao Bella!

With only a little time for jet-lag recovery, it was time to hit the streets! Rome was a much more vibrant city than I expected. That gang fight was interesting to say the least. Glad you were able to carry your pocket knife with you on the plane, thanks for running those thugs off.

I really can’t believe that we got to meet the Pope and that he was so cool with selfies. Crazy nice guy, I guess that’s why all the Catholics like him. Also, that was the dopest handshake routine I’ve ever seen, I just hope I can remember it when we get home to show the boys.

Off to the colosseum…

Buon Viaggio!

3. 7:00AM – How do you spell it again? Coloseum? Colllosem? Colosseum?

Ciao Bella!

Geez, that sucker was huge! And broken. They should really consider doing some remodeling and repairs on it. I couldn’t find a place to plug in and charge my phone anywhere.

And what about all the tourists? Way too many iPad photographers in the world.

I really liked the hat you bought from the market nearby, and I thought it was totally spontaneous of you to get your hair colored and curled right from that street vendor/stylist lady! That’s the Italian care-free spirit already coming out in you!

Buon Viaggio!

4. 7:30AM – When the moon hits your eye-a like a pizza pie-a, that’s amore…

I’ll admit it, I was out of my comfort zone on this one. You know I love dancing. And you know I love dancing in front of people. And you know I love dancing in front of people at famous locations around the world. And you know I love dancing on skinny platforms high above hundreds of tourists near famous locations around the world… but, for me to do all of that with a watch and a bracelet on my other arm? That took guts on my part.

Either way, there’s no one else I’d rather risk my life with Cha-cha-ing on top of a fence with than you.

Buon Viaggio!

5. 8:00AM – We should’ve probably skipped this one

Ciao Bella!

So I’m all for adventure but I think I’m gonna have to say that this was one of the low-lights of the trip. For future reference, even though taking a “Coastal Boat Cruise to the Mediterranean’s Largest Island” might sound like a good idea; consider the source and don’t buy it from a Middle Eastern man on the street with only one good eye. Live and learn.

At least the doctor said it’s fairly likely that you’ll get feeling back in most of your fingers. You made it to the top and only had to borrow like 9 layers of clothes!

To the beach we go.

Buon Viaggio

6. 8:30AM – Tom Ford Tuscan Leather smelling like a brick.

Ciao Bella!

I don’t understand about 90% of Drake’s lyrics, and this one is no different. If your leather smells like bricks, it might be time to replace it. Also, what do leather and bricks have to do with Tuscany?

Wine, hilly countrysides, and Vespas. That’s what Drake should be singing about. You don’t always believe me when I tell you that motorcycles get the girls, now I think you know what I’m talking about. 85 miles to the gallon on this hog.

Also, remember Antonio the sommelier at that villa? That guy was super weird, “no dude, Vespas aren’t made to hold 3 people, get off!” Sweet hair, though.

Buon Viaggio!

7. 9:00AM – Rick Steves knows his crap

Ciao Bella!

These aren’t the white sand beaches of the Caribbean but I’d revisit them any time! The Cinque Terre is beautiful and you only made it more so! Let’s move tomorrow.

Here’s a shot of us on day one, still trying to warm up from that fake Sicily hike. The only thing I never got used to was the Speedos. So many Speedos. Too many Speedos. I think the Speedo manufacturers were even tired of how many Speedos were there. We can see all your business, Italian dudes.

Buon Viaggio!

8. 9:30AM – Can we buy this cafe?

Ciao Bella!

This place was the perfect place to eat (that’s probably why we ate there four times). I say we buy it. And eat there every day. And put burgers and pizza on the menu cause squid isn’t very good. Maybe the people in Italy just don’t know that burgers are better because nobody has ever told them. But I’m fine if we do. I know they would agree to stop eating squid if somebody would just let them try a burger.

That storm looks pretty ominous but I don’t remember it being all that bad. Just a little mini-monsoon. Makes for a good picture though, right?

Buon Viaggio!

9. 10:00AM – Maybe QR codes don’t translate to Italian?

Ciao Bella!

Speaking of the cafe we’re gonna buy, I’m gonna say we should go ahead and get some menus printed. (With burgers) This has gotta be a hassle writing them down every day over and over!

Screw it, we own a cafe in Italy, we can do whatever we want!

Buon Viaggio!

10. 10:30AM – Views for days. And bugs.

Ciao Bella!

Welp, this one was worth the trip (and the hike). I still contend that we should have rented donkeys though. I bet donkeys like hikes, they live for this, they’re top-of-the-mountain-selfie-kings.

I’m glad we decided not to walk to all five of the villages but I am also glad that we mustered up the courage to tackle this climb to a couple. Even after climbing Mt Everest a couple days ago.

Side note: I don’t think you can actually classify those flying things as mosquitos, I’m pretty sure they have to fall in the category of small bird. Terrifying. A traditional fly swatter’s got no chance, you gotta have a full tree branch to fend one off.

Buon Viaggio!

11. 11:00AM – Weird habits to pick up when traveling.

Ciao Bella!

I think this guy’s name was Giovanni. Or Angelo. or Lorenzo. After the fourth limoncello, I don’t think we actually cared. They were tasty. And strong. I’m sure he’s killing it with sales to the hiker’s on the path but maybe he should open a second location down in town.

By the way, I’m all for you picking up some culture when we travel but did you really have to pick up the habit of cigs? I’m hoping the long plane ride home rids you of that one. Così è la vita!

Buon Viaggio!

12. 11:30AM – Tobias and Amelie

Ciao Bella!

I’m thankful for meeting folks along the way. One of the things I was most worried about before heading out on a long trip like this was that I was going to have to come up with words to use like everyday. Thankfully we met a few folks along the way to ease that burden.

This was Tobias and Amelie from Austria. They were great! But I’ll admit, I did cringe a ton for the first couple of days when you kept asking them about the Sydney Opera House, kangaroos, and kept saying things like, “gooday mate!” and “throw another shrimp on the barbie.” It wasn’t until the third day when he finally broke down and told you that Australia and Austria aren’t the same place and that if the best cultural references we as American’s have is movies then we should be thinking in terms of the von Trapps and not the Dundee’s. Whatever Tobias, America’s still better than your rinky-dink nation. These colors don’t run.

Buon Viaggio!

13. 12:00PM – Cliches

Ciao Bella!

Because I’m the most romantic guy you’ve ever married, I went ahead and scheduled one of them fancy romantic storybook things to do: renew our vows on the water with a boat load of pirates watching!

You looked great in your dress and I know I was banging in my white pants and shoes. It’s also pretty fortuitous that lady just carried around a bridesmaid dress with her generally on every vacation so she could stand in for us. Bummed that the priest got captured by the pirates but it was good that the best man/husband/one-button-down-too-many dude could fill in on short notice. English definitely wasn’t his first language but I think he made it work with the little bit he knew (the lyrics to “My Humps”).

Aside: Do you find it weird that pirates like to watch weddings or is that just me?

Buon Viaggio!

14. 12:30PM – Cliches pt 2

Ciao Bella!

Who can resist a beautiful view and a non-overused gesture for taking couples pictures? Not me! I loved this place (it felt like what I think Hawaii might feel like, or at least what I see on those HGTV shows in Hawaii). Hand-hearts for the win!

Buon Viaggio!

15. 1:00PM – On the road again…

Ciao Bella!

As much as I loved our time along the Mediterranean coast (and we’ll be back), I didn’t love that the Airbnb description of “full studio apartment” failed to include we’d be sharing the single room and two twin beds with the homeowners themselves. Italian couples seem to argue a lot. And I don’t think they loved the fact that you kept smoking in the house, but hey man, it’s Italy. “Stupidi Americani!”

Here was the train ride that took us from the beach to Venice; thanks Corona, we had it mostly to ourselves! Save for that weird who kept asking if we liked beef jerky.

Buon Viaggio!

16. 1:30PM – Pole dancing in Venice, Italy

Ciao Bella!

Get your mind out of the gutter!

Venice is beautiful but their poles to anchor the boats have a lot of splinters! They should consider getting some sandpaper for them. It might have been better if I was able to just hope on and hop off real quick but I wanted this picture and you wouldn’t take it until you finished your cigarette. Man, addictions are hard.

The things I selectively remember from Venice: more iPad photogs; boats; the smells of sea animal death; art; and Art (who could forget Art, he was hilarious!)

Buon Viaggio!

17. 2:00PM – Art

Ciao Bella!

Venice was full of art. I didn’t understand most of it because I don’t understand most of art. But Art, I understood Art. That card trick he did is still blowing my mind.

It was kind of that iPad photographer to grab this shot of us looking at some art in one of the galleries. I think this piece was titled, “Cinnamon Bun.” Or at least that’s what Art called it.

Buon Viaggio!

18. 2:30PM – Man I miss that shirt.

Ciao Bella!

Thankfully, after a full day in Venice… you can sort of, kind of, possibly not notice the smell as much. Enough so that we could at least get out and visit with some folks on the evening square.

You looked great and that shirt I had was banging. I wish I still had that shirt.

Crazy to think that we got robbed at the hostel and the only things that were stolen were this shirt and my bracelets. Italians, man. (Surely it wasn’t Art, right?)

Buon Viaggio!

19. 3:00PM – Gay Paris!

Bonjour Belle!

Ever since rocking 3 years of French in high school with Mrs Martinez, I’ve known Paris is a place I needed to see at least once. No doubt that Mrs Martinez has succumbed to father time, diabetes, or heart disease by this point but I know she’d be proud that I was able to use the 6-8 words I learned in her classes.

“Je m’appelle Grégoire” and “Aimez-vous vraiment la viande de canard?” (which translates roughly to, “do you really like to eat duck? you’re weird”)

We went ahead and ran through the Louvre to see a few things, the Mona Lisa was a little smaller than I imagined but it was still cool to say that we saw it.

Bon Voyage!

20. 3:30PM – Cafes and coffee and bikes and tomatoes (but no duck)

Bonjour Belle!

Paris was cool. Less iPads and more berets. I thought it was pretty cool when they asked me to sing, “Champs-Élysées” to the whole restaurant and it was cool that you didn’t just walk out. You just puffed that cigarette like a boss, only this time you upped your game with one of those long cigarette holder things. So baller of you. I did think it was weird when they asked me to sing it again and allowed folks to throw tomatoes at me but I guess that’s just something they do to welcome folks. Guess I shouldn’t have slept through that day in French 2 class. (By the way, in 20 years, your throwing arm has really gotten strong, you should start throwing batting practice to the boys!)

No Paris trip is complete without a trip to the Tower de Eiffel. It was lit up beautifully and I don’t think anybody even minded that I looked like I had just taken a bath in tomato juice! Parisians aren’t nearly as bad as most people say. I’d say on a rudeness scale from 1-100, they rank at about New Jersey.

Bon Voyage!

21. 4:00PM – Oops

Bonjour Belle!

How that get in there?! That’s from the private collection!

Je t’aime!

Bon Voyage!

Yeah, yeah, I know there’s a Presidential election going on but this post isn’t about that race. Frankly, that race is a dumpster fire and I’d rather not spend any more time than I have to thinking about it.

Locally, we have a school board election going on. And while it hasn’t been as bad the national stuff, it’s still been a little disheartening to see the levels some will stoop for positions of power.

In one shining example, we have one candidate who decided it was a good idea to set up a fake The Facebook account and troll citizens and other candidates: https://www.star-telegram.com/news/politics-government/article245638050.html — Yes, a grown man, thinking it’s okay to catfish people on the internet to help advance his cause of getting elected for a non-paid, school board trustee position.

We live in an area with good schools. Lots of folks have moved to our community based on the school district and the schools inside of it. I googled it and we get an ‘A’ rating in whatever measurement is being used.

—

In the race, there are three positions up for grabs. One empty seat and two seats that incumbents are trying to get re-elected into. (And for full disclosure, I know two of the candidates on a first name basis on the ballot. Both incumbents; both good people; and both have done a good job, in my opinion.) There are seven candidates running for three spots. And while I had wondered about it a month or two ago, it wasn’t fully clear until this week that most of the candidates had essentially grouped themselves (or had been intentionally arranged together by outside forces) save for the one lady that unfortunately doesn’t look like she stands a chance.

Note: I have an opinion that school board elections or trustees shouldn’t be much in the way involved with partisan politics. Sure, what you believe may leak out a bit in all that you do subconsciously — but at the same time — you are called to make decisions for the greater good of all 13,885 students and 1,000-ish teachers. It isn’t typically party line stuff.

Unfortunately, it’s 2020 and we’re all keenly aware of how that’s treated us.

For clarity’s sake, let me break the available ballot options for you:

Trustee, Place 5

• Coley Canter (a)
• Lori Crenshaw (c)
• Tommy Snyder (b)

Trustee, Place 6

• Casey Ford (b)
• Doug Noell* (a)

Trustee, Place 7

• Jorge Rodriguez* (a)
• Cacy Tischer (b)

* incumbent candidate
(a) (b) (c) candidate groupings have they have come to light
All listed alphabetically by last name

— —

I got some mail this week.

Of the snail mail kind. Two pieces that came — ironically — on the same day.

Both pieces exist and have the goal of swinging my vote one direction or the other. Both are printed and presented in the (a) (b) groupings above; neither are advertisements for a single candidacy.

And frankly, both made me want to throw up in my mouth a little.

Group A:This may seem trite to you but design actually matters to me. And if it doesn’t matter to you, it should.

Design — good or bad — can sway things. Emotion, decisions, elections… I could go on. Unfortunately for group A, somebody decided to pay for and mail out a flyer on their behalf that is atrocious. There is statement on the back that it is not affiliated with any candidate; it is also fairly clear about which candidates it wants me to rally behind.

What’s not clear is anything else it wants me to understand.

Front:

Back:

After some time spinning it around 360 degrees to read everything; sifting through the magnitude of typefaces and sizes; holding my nose through the blatant partisanship; I ultimately ended up being most disturbed by the last line on the back of the piece:

Paid for by a proud Trump voting, gun toting GCISD parent

My concerns:
I have zero idea if any candidate has falsely claimed to have been appointed to West Point. But now I have to wonder. I have zero ideas if any of the candidates in group B wants to raise taxes. But now the seed has been planted. I have zero idea if any candidate in the B group has ever said, “let’s de-fund the police in schools” (I highly doubt it) but it’s a hot button topic so let’s add that into the mix as well.

What I do know is that while group A did not create, pay for, or mail out this flyer; they just got tied to Trump whether they wanted to be or not. It was unnecessary and unfortunately it may hurt them more than it helps them.

Takeaways from the flyer for group A:
Your flyer is ugly — design matters and this hurts people’s eyes. You’ve co-opted the ‘fake news’ narrative while putting unsubstantiated claims all over your piece. You’ve firmly pulled candidates into a partisanship situation when they may have not wanted that at all.
You get an F.

Group B:Your design, though not appealing to me, is at least better from a digestible standpoint. There is hierarchy to it. The typefaces are legible. It’s fairly organized. It’s immediately clear on who it supports. It’s also clear on the partisan politics side where you stand.

What matters to me is that, content-wise, this isn’t a win either. As someone who tries to care — at least somewhat — about grammar, this flyer also gets an F.

Front:

Back:

It’s probably a little hard to read here but there are five “questions” on the front of the document. And five sets of possible answers for each question, all true or false options.

The problem is, in any case that I can think of, True or False problems/questions on any test are never that: questions. True or False “questions” are always statements and you are presented with two options: to agree or disagree with that statement.

Let’s explore:

1. Did the School Board Trustees vote unanimously to ignore their own surveys and parent input?

a. TRUE      b. false

or:

5. Has the in-classroom/remote learning hybrid model been an unitigated disaster for GCISD teachers, students and families?

a. TRUE      b. false

Now, I will agree that these questions are ones with binary answers (yes/no). But they are not statements that should be agreed with or disagreed with (true/false). And that’s where I see the issue lying… this flyer was created for candidates running for election to be leaders over a school district; one where we should be teaching our students proper grammar and use cases. If we expect our students to know how to take tests and answer binary questions/statements, shouldn’t we have the right to expect the same from our leaders?

Design (and/or paying freaking attention to details) matters.

— —

What I’d like to vote for

What GCISD needs isn’t party line politics driving our school board elections (and the ironic part is that all six candidates in group A and group B are Republicans tryout to out-Republican each other).

What we need is intelligent, service-minded folks who care about kids, school finance reform, and figuring out how we educate students in the modern era. Tell me your vision for what schools should look like going forward. Tell me what you think kids should be learning. Tell me your great ideas on how to bring all students up while doing away with the insane standardized testing routine we’ve had for decades.

Also, tell your PAC and trump-loving, gun-toting buddies to hire a real designer and a content specialist.

PS. Tommy Snyder, you need a haircut. That thing on your head is gross.

Elect a clown, expect a circus.

Sure is hard to figure out where we go from here.

Gamestop. AMC theaters. Hedge funds. Reddit. Robinhood.

Who is trustworthy and does it matter?

Gamestop as a company shouldn’t be doing all that well, honestly. With a ton of brick & mortar stores in a pandemic and an audience who has largely shifted to online playing and buying, I’m kind of surprised to see them still in business. [Interesting side note, they’re headquartered right here in Grapevine, Texas but I’m kind of happy that doesn’t get a lot of airplay.] Their stock price was probably on target at $5/share.

Mob mentality is weird. And scary. I don’t have a full knowledge of why a bunch of people on an internet forum decided to gang up and attack. The first reasons given (as I understand them) were that they were fighting against the system. It was a power play. But in the end, I think it was about greed. They figured out a way to beat the hedge funds at their own game.

I don’t like the fact that the markets shut it down. That doesn’t seem like a free-market economy; I also understand why they did it. It could have spiraled at a massive scale quickly and done some serious damage to an economy that already has some fissures in it. I have a feeling the occurrences from this week might cause some changes to the rules.

—

I like to play 42. Though I don’t play it all that often. It’s a game of dominoes. You play with a partner against another team of two. There are seven hands each round and your goal is to try and bid the right amount of hands (and points) you think you can get. Some times you just don’t have it and you are mostly just a filler, helping your partner or trying to trip up your opponent.

Other times you have good dominoes. And so you bid and work towards grabbing as many hands and points as you can to cover your bid.

There’s also a third way to play: Nello. If you play the card game Spades, it’s called nil. The goal with Nello is to lose every hand. Essentially you have a hand full of non-matching, low count, or generally bad dominoes. You estimate that you can make it through all seven hands in one round and not pick up a single one. It’s okay if your partner does but that doesn’t count against you. If you can make it through all seven without winning, you win.

I have a strategy though.

At the start of a hand, If one of my opponents seems fairly strong based on their bidding, I might come at them in reverse. I go Nello. I know they have good dominoes which increases the chances of them picking up a lot of hands.

It a fairly effective strategy and tends to work a decent amount. It also frustrates your opponent but it works.

—

I’m no stock market expert. I don’t understand the intricacies of the shorts, the options, the margins, the borrowing-of-stocks-only-to-sell-them-back at an undetermined date.

But I understand 42. And this week, I liken this stock market game to dominoes.

Melvin, Citadel, and the number of other hedge fund investors who lost billions this week, went strong on their bidding of Gamestop and the others. 31, 32, maybe even 33.

In their mind, they had the closest thing to a sure bet. Gamestop — as a brick and mortar company — seems like it had one foot in the grave. AMC still can’t let more than like six people into a theater at a time (and who wants to go to an in-person movie anyways!). Their hand was good.

But maybe, what they didn’t pay attention to, was their opponent. Their opponent didn’t have a strong hand. They haven’t ever had a strong hand in this game. In the past, maybe they’ve had a few dominoes that matched and thought, ”I’m going to bid 30 and see what happens,” but then they’ve either gotten out-bid or beat.

I think they got tired of getting beat… so they went Nello. And the game changed. Possibly forever.

—

“Internet thugs” are getting hammered for gaming the system. “Rich billionaires” are getting hammered for gaming the system. “The system” is getting hammered for changing the rules of the game mid-stream. Robinhood is getting hammered for seemingly wasting six years of brand reputation and ‘siding’ with the billionaires. The fact that they don’t have the ability to make all of the rules and that they have guidelines and standards that they’re held to so they don’t get shut down as a company don’t always get brought up in the conversation.

People lost money this week. Billionaires did. And people with pensions did. And the people who bought GME and AMC at $350/share trying to catch this crazy ride only to watch it fall to $170/share six hours later did as well.

There are some people who made money this week but I’m not sure if there are any winners.

Mob mentality, whether in physical force like we’ve seen regularly in the “news” the last 5 years, or now we’re seeing in digital force, is weird. And scary.

The good thing is, you don’t have to win every hand. You can win just enough to trip them up or you can lose them all and still win. You’ve got options, you don’t have to join the mob.

This is a public plea to @melanieross to let me buy this place in Bjarkøy, Norway. I bet the weather is terrible. And the sun shines for like 3 hours per day. And the food would cause my stomach to do backflips. But those all seem like minor hurdles to owning this slice of heaven.

via @cheapoldhouses